I am almost too tired to look at the computer screen right now. I literally have never experienced this level of exhaustion and sleep deprivataion in my entire life. The fatigue of pregnancy is nothing compared to motherhood.
I guess I never thought that the newborn phase would be so easy. I was by myself, and my son woke up every two hours to nurse and I still felt more rested than I do now. My husband would tell me that when he got home he would help, he would let me sleep in. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a very involved father but he is not a morning person. Neither am I.
My son was sleeping through the night by four months old. I was so happy, I felt like I finally got something right! When he got to be about nine months old, he started not sleeping as great and now he is over 12 months old and sleeping worse and worse. Some nights are so bad that by 5am I am in tears.
I’m telling you this because I want you to know that you are not doing anything wrong, although it might feel like it sometimes. Trust me, I go through many phases in the middle of the night. The first phase is “doing what all the books say” where I watch the monitor and see if he will put himself back to sleep before running in. Then I go in because he hasn’t settled himself down and honestly, the longer I let him cry the more “awake” he becomes.